Freaky things

No - kuten lupasin, viihdytän teitä hieman viime päivien tekstarisodalla Kirjoittajan kanssa. M-kirjain viittaa Kirjoittajaan, ja O tietysti itseeni. Toivottavasti muidenkin mielestä ko. sananvaihto on edes vähän huvittavaa. Lisähuomautuksena mainittakoon, että en ole muuttanut sanaakaan alkuperäisistä viesteistä. Viihtykää. (Pätkä on englanniksi, koska minun piti viihdyttää myös kämppiksiäni.)

11/10/2010

M You may say whatever you want, but the truth is, I like you. I'm sure about that, I just do. I miss you. You might be angry with me. But I miss you. I wanna be in your heart! (02:18)

O What's going on... (15:29)

M I miss you (15:30)

O Yeah I got that. What happened to "I never want to hear of you?" Changing your mind again? (15:39)

M Puting my mind cleared. But you are free to ignore me. You want that? (15:46)

O I didn't get that first sentence. Can you try to be clear for once and say what you want to say? (15:52)

M I said that I was trying to clear my head. Had a tuff time Outi. Sorry for that (15:54)

O Perhaps you should clear it first and then try to talk to me. You make no sense at all. (16:01)

M I'm fine now Outi! (16:02)

O Fast recovery huh? So which one is it - you're clearing your head or you're fine? It can only be either one. (16:06)

M I'm fine Outi. Do you imagine what happened to me? I had real problems. I know it was hard for you too. But I'm fine (16:10)

O Well I imagine I should be the best person to know what went on, since I caused it all, as you said. Remember that? (16:14)

M I remember everything. That was a lie. I was nervous after we talk on the phone. But wasn't because of you. (16:18)

O There are things you just don't say, no matter how confused or nervous you get. How could I even know you wouldn't pull that kind of shit on me again, when you start feeling anxious? (16:51)

M I won't. Believe me? (17:30)

O To be honest, no I don't believe you. Now it's the other way around, I don't think I trust you at all anymore. (19:25)

M Ok Outi. I would like to. (19:27)

O Would like to what? And you never even apologized. You might have been fucked up but you never thought of how I was doing. (19:29)

M I'm sorry for being a jerk like that. And I forgot your feelings that's true. I wanna see you. (19:35)

M Huh? (19:56)

M Hope everything is doing as you wish at the company. Just tell me if you'll apologize me, and if I can see you? Kiss (21:36)

O Excuse me - if I apologize you?! For what? (22:00)

M Apollogize you. Damn translated. Sorry (22:02)

O Frankly speaking, I don't think you're stable enough to give me things that I would need. I have things in my life also, important things, and I don't want to waste my energy. I could never ever be with someone who constantly changes his mind, I need stability and trust. And with you - it's quite the opposite. Seeing each other propably wouldn't be a good idea either. (22:10)

M I wish I had that! (22:12)

O Had what.. I'll sleep now, gotta wake up early. (22:14)

M Let me tell you one thing. I had a girl, and I didn't deal right with the whole situation. I like you, really do. The thing is that I wish we could be able for each other, have something like a relationship. I will not change what I just said. But you don't see me like a lover, do you? (22:22)


12/10/2010

O The most important thing of all is that I don't see you as a stable person nor a person who could support me. Right now I think I would have to do all the supporting, considering all the problems you have, and I need all the energy I got for myself. Do you understand what I mean?? (06:50)

M Ok. If you think I'm not stable ok. But I think you're wrong. I just had a tuff. But don't think you're the most stable person. So don't act like that. (09:21)

O I answered in your e-mail. (09:59)

(O Writes a vicious e-mail and receives kind of a love letter in return from M, for example saying: "My meds make me good for a reason... No longer attacks.
Borderline is not a big thing. Everyone get’s depressed sometime. My heart is healthy, if i don’t abuse too much of things." O writes another blunt e-mail, then receiving more shit from M: "The thing is, I love you, the shrink didn’t diagnosis me as a borderline, she just talk about that, I don’t have epilepsy, it’s a different thing, the doctors are trying to find out. I think it’s not a big deal, seriously." O doesn't answer anymore.)

M (Tries to call twice)

M Can't you pick up? Or just don't want to? (16:34)

O I'm shopping groceries. (16:38)

M Can you call after? (16:39)

O I'll be on msn later (16:42)

M (Tries to call once)

M I wanna hear you (16:42)

M May I? (16:44)

M (Tries to call once)

M Ok! That's a no (17:13)

O I'm busy now, later on msn (17:14)

M Yeah . . . (17:15)

O Yeah believe it or not there are other things in my life also. If you want to talk so badly I can talk on msn today but I'm not on a good mood. (18:04)